Odds and Ends 4.20

I made dinner and cleaned up the kitchen.
Then I stepped out back to take a break.
I made rainy day red beans and rice and

Cajun baked chicken thighs that my love
loves and a few breasts. The late afternoon
nap was not for me.

The rain falls slowly but continuously on
the metal patio roof behind me playing a
disjointed tempo all of its own drowning

out any other chords of rain. No wind
really and it is getting dark. I can hardly
see my steno pad. I am not sure what I

expected the Saturday after Thanksgiving
to be like, but this wasn’t it. The light over
the kitchen sink is on. Nap must be over.

Someone just closed the kitchen blinds.
I am sitting here in the dark, but I give
thanks to God for another day of life.

A moment of joy on this dreary dark day
comes to mind as I give thanks that it may
be too dark to see but I walk in God’s light.

A Candle of Faith

I can’t be having the thoughts I’m having.
The thoughts of past abuse never go
completely away. I understand that.

Those thoughts spawn other thoughts.
And before I know it, I’m back in a place
I don’t want to be.

Pain and pleasure converge once again
and I’m in touch with the confusion of
the eight-year-old that was me.

It is Satan’s fuel fanning the fires of past
abuse freezing my thoughts for today.
Fiery arrows aimed at the heart to destroy

whatever is true. The breath of an angel is
all it takes to quench this Hell fire and
bring me back into God’s grace and truth.

Light and darkness can never occupy the
same space. All it takes is a candle of faith
to dispel the darkness.